Are those khakis? Oh dear. He’s still my one free pass.

Those of you in committed relationships will know what “one free pass” means. It’s when you would have the opportunity to spend time, ahem, with one person who you have a mad crush on. Sort of like “Indecent Proposal”. Of course, it’s good to make your free pass person completely unattainable and not the red-headed 23 year old dumbass you meet on the plane. It’s never really fulfilled but fun to talk about.

I’ve given a lot of thought to my free pass. I think Mr. Notranting’s is Scarlett Johansson (he and every man in America – which leads me to go see Vicky Christina Barcelona this weekend, no doubt). I need to check again. So, mine is 58 years old, which is not supposed to be the way this goes. Sue me. It’s an area thing, a childhood thing, a hotness thing. Until I opened this morning’s New York Post. Khakis and a polo shirt? Check. Slight – dare I say – paunch? Check. He probably just had lunch. I saw this specimen about 10 days ago and he was the hottest, fittest thing ever. Never mind – I’m keeping him. I’m too hormonal to change. Patti, if you ever get tired of him, I’m here.


  1. liz,of course, there’s certainly nothing wrong whatsoever with married or committed people having crushes or fantasies about celebs! in fact, i think it’s perfectly human, normal, innocent and even healthy!do you have any other celeb crushes besides bruce?mario

  2. Mario:Well, of course. That was my point exactly that it is healthy and fun, especially if unattainable. I worry about the tweens fixating on the Jonas Brothers. Good God!I tend to find people who are intelligent, supremely talented, brooding and a little dark to be fascinating, especially when they have a cause or an axe to grind. I’ve never been a person to have my head at all turned by the typical. That said, Clooney can fit the bill, but I am almost certain he is not playing on the team I would need him on. I’ve had the good fortune to meet and work with many celebs in my work life and they are usually a) nicer than their reputation, b) shorter, c) much more average looking. They are fun, real people. As long as they aren’t pulling diva crap, I’m good. My colleagues agree. The ones who seem so innocuous are monsters and the ones who you’d think are horrific tend to be super nice and accommodating. So, some good surprises and some utter disappointments.Sean Penn, Eddie Vedder (with whom I share a birthday),Benicio del Toro, Johnny Depp, Billy Crudup, Joaquin Phoenix, Javier Bardem all make me sit up and take notice. Usually because of their work. You’ll never see me swoon over one of those Gossip Boys or Grey’s Anatomy dudes. I swoon over only one guy on Earth. And he still likes Scarlett – and that’s just fine. I can’t disagree with him there!

  3. David is not a fan of ScarJo – I’m not sure what that means. He’s a lover of women who seem uncomplicated and look fairly “normal”: Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett – clearly has a thing for the Brits. I love all of your guys – those hot messes who canoe down rivers and have frogs on their heads – but I do love the adorableness of Mark Ruffalo and Ryan Gosling. I don’t know what I’m saying here – I think my ruptured cyst has gone to my head.xx

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