Hermes design house breeding own crocodiles for handbags.

Not my typical post, but this is certainly news of the odd. Hermes, known for the $50,000 (!!!) Birkin bag, has taken to breeding their own crocodiles for the coveted bags. Surely, Victoria Beckham is happy to hear this news. PETA, not so much.

“It can take three to four crocodiles to make one of our bags so we are now breeding our own crocodiles on our own farms, mainly in Australia,” says Patrick Thomas, chief executive of the luxury line. “Hermes already faces a major challenge producing 3,000 crocodile bags a year. The world is not full of crocodiles, except the stock exchange!”

OH, bring the LOLs, Mr. Thomas! But seriously, it takes 3-4 crocodiles to make one of those bags? Crikey! Thoughts?

The real difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? About $800K!

Wow – who knew hockey leagues had this much money? This hockey mom, Kimberly Knight was arrested for embezzling almost a cool million from her hockey league in Ann Arbor. Who watches the books there? She bought a dump truck, an Escalade, scads of jewelry. What are Pandora beads? Apparently she liked those.

The cops showed some compassion towards her by saying that she probably intended to pay the money back.

Oh, times are hard, people. I don’t think she’ll do jail time, but she will have to get some mental health help. You betcha.

The Boss – maybe you can stop mocking my love of the old man now.

Many people giggle and tell me I’m ridiculous that I adore the Boss. Let me tell you, like most silly white folks, I also love Lil Wayne, Jay Z and Coldplay. If I dig deeper, I am a music addict with some pretty impressive chops – I love everything from Keane to John Mayer to Nada Surf to Diana Ross to Earth, Wind & Fire. That said, I am ridiculed all the time for my love of The Boss. I think it’s a generational thing, a geographical thing, a first concert I ever went to thing. Leo – he was born while “A Promised Land” was playing. Yep, true story.

Of COURSE, I got my tickets today for the new shows in the spring this morning. Sleeping baby in my arms, I got frustrated with Ticketmaster’s site crashing, but gosh knows I probably got the last 2 seats in the nosebleed section. Did you watch the Superbowl? Dude looked hot. Clarence looked like Andre Leon Talley. Seriously!

He’s riding a lovely wave of renewed popularity these days – stumping for Obama, playing the Inaugural, releasing a new album, winning a Golden Globe for “The Wrestler”, being nominated for an Oscar for the same song, etc. What’s not to love? Here’s a pic of him that my friend took at Inaugural when Bruce was backstage at the concert at the Lincoln Memorial. Lucky guy.

Michael Phelps – am I the only person who doesn’t think it’s a big deal?

OK, so Michael Phelps, the golden boy, was caught smoking a bong at a party in South Carolina in November and the photograph was published in some tab called “News of the World”. Why don’t I think this is a huge deal? I am not a drug user, not even recreationally, (plus what does that matter) and I understand he’s a role model for kids – I had to explain to my little one what he was doing, oh boy. But I am thinking there’s a whole lot of nothing here.

That said, our new President (and past two) admits to recreational drug use when younger. How is this much different? Surely, in the eyes of the sponsorships, it seems problematic on the surface, but he is 23 and didn’t touch a child or murder someone. I don’t mean to minimize it, but he should be careful if he wants to go out and do “hoodrat stuff”. Perhaps take along a trusted advisor and beware of camera phones and people who want to cash in on his bad judgements and fame.

As a society, we love to tear down our icons, build them back up. It’s sort of troubling. He seems a little lost and hellbent on enjoying his post-Olympic glow. Maybe it’s time he just focus a little more and concentrate on his next steps.

Besides, I am told that cereal endorsements are the perfect fit for a pot smoker. Synergies, people! Sound off.

UPDATE: some swaggery Sheriff is thinking of charging Phelps. Um, don’t you need more than a photo? I think he should lay off. That said, Phelps best have his defense attorney ready just in case.

UPDATE: Kellogg’s has dropped Phelps as a spokesman for their products.

Puff Baby. I love this story.

This awesome baby was playing with a phone and accidentally dialed 9-1-1.

The RCMP (that’s Canadian Police, y’all) arrived and what did they find? A very surprised 29 year old dad who swore he had not called. What else did they find? A 500 plant marijuana stash.

Benjamin Button had better start planning his Father’s Day gift now. I wonder if the dude was smoking a bowl when the cops arrived. Did they take the child into protective custody? Where’s the mom? I’m just saying.

The Smoking Boy of U.K. – clearly, the little dude’s a badass.

I don’t know how to explain this one – bear with me.

It seems this woman, Kelly Pocock (and by the way, did I not do an earlier post today with a “Bocock”?)had a 3 year old son who was a habitual smoker. A friend of Kelly’s came by and it seems the little dude casually walked on by, picked up a ciggie, lit it and smoked it with no discomfort. So, clearly, CPS was called and it seemed the kid had a bona fide habit.

Here’s where it’s almost laughable. The mother said she was “shocked” to learn he had smoked. Um, have you ever lived with a smoker? Can’t you smell it? Have you been to your child’s room or hugged him? The judge pretty much laughed at her ass, saying it was damn near impossible she didn’t know, but decided that he (the kid) would NOT be better off with no mom, so she avoids prison. And the child stays with her. Good work, Judge.


Celebrity Crime Roundup – Part Four. Loose Fingered Louie again?

Times are hard, people!

Winona Ryder has had a “comeback” of sorts – not of the cinematic type, but of the drama in real life type. A few weeks ago, a health issue forced her to seek immediate medical attention after a flight. She recovered quickly (from the rumored Xanax overdose) in order to attend the Marie Claire Prix de la Mode Awards in Madrid, Spain.

There, she wore a beautiful diamond bracelet and ring, lent to her by Bvlgari. The jewels are said to be worth $125K. (PS – why don’t celebs just buy their swag? That really bugs me, although I understand the red carpet thing. The trickle down effect? I don’t see it. It’s not as if I’d go out and buy Bvlgari jewels because I saw some celeb wear them. It’s a matter of cash, baby!)

Anyhoo, Miss Thing claims she lost the bracelet. Which does happen. Stuff falls off and if you don’t have security, it gets lost. But here’s the rub: Wino claims she brought the jewels to the concierge of her hotel, who put them in the safe. The problem is, after reviewing all of the surveillance video (Winona’s Waterloo!), it seems Ms. Ryder never dropped anything off at said desk. I mean really, what’s she going to do? Sell it on eBay? Police are investigating!

Rut row. I’d like to hope for the best here and think the hotel messed up. But something tells me Miss Ryder still has her demons. Don’t we all? I am so not judging, I swear. What do you think?

Object of lust – the Diamond Spa stainless steel tub.

You may recall my love of the Boffi “Po” tub that I blogged about a while back. Well, Po, consider this your competition. Aaahhhhhhh…..!

What does this have to do with criminal justice? Nothing. Except survivors of crime should all get to soak in a tub like this. Hell, survivors of work, the economy, kids, traffic and bad service should get to soak in a tub like this.

Story Update: Tanya Hollander, UVa-educated “Hooker Booker”, pleads guilty.

So, Tanya Hollander, the booker for the disgraced Eliot Spitzer’s escort agency and the fine folks who brought us Ashley Dupre, pled “quilty” today to charges of consipiring to violate the Federal traveling act. Hey, I didn’t write it that way – the AP did. Quilty! Ms. Hollander (who, by the by, shares a surname with Xaviera Hollander, “The Happy Hooker” – come on, you all KNOW who I mean)is Mr. Notranting’s exact age and went to the University of Virginia the same year.

He claims not to know her. Maybe he was Client #8! Just kidding. She claims she needed extra money and is actually a new age hippie-type healer, therapist, etc. Kind of like Rielle Hunter. I think she looks rather like Alanis Morrisette, don’t you? She’s not expected to serve any jail time. She also had no contact whatsoever with Client #9.

Facialist Sonya Dakar puts the beatdown, er, BITEdown on the Health Inspector. Yowza!

Some of my L.A.-based friends are on the client roster list of Sonia Dakar, facialist to the stars and real girls. She’s said to be a miracle worker, much like Tracie Martyn is here on the East Coast. Mme. Dakar is also, allegedly, a bit of a bruiser (and I’m not talking blackhead extraction here!). Seems as though Miss Dakar allegedly BIT the health inspector who tried to take down her aesthetician’s license in order to you know, inspect it.

She was booked into the Beverly Hills jail – her spa is in BH, doncha know? She is expected to be arraigned soon and is out on bail. You can order her products, no doubt made of the blood of inspectors (just kidding) here.