This week, it will be nine years since the terrible plane crash that took the lives of JFK, Jr., his wife, Carolyn Bessette and her sister, Lauren Bessette. While the nation mourned the only son of a legendary President and First Lady, so many wondered why yet another tragedy hit the Kennedy family? It seemed to many that John Jr. would have eventually traipsed into political life, bearing all of the charisma and power of his father (and other forbears) with none of the controversy.

I was reading a book by Kennedy’s George magazine editor, Richard Blow, this week and was surprised to learn that JFK, Jr., for all of his public life and private passions, was puzzling to know. He wasn’t the dim bulb he was thought of and yet, he dared tread in some dangerous areas. He would have been a shoo-in for President one day, or would he have? A man of grace, humor, astounding good looks, he wore his celebrity easily, even if it was a burden.

In the interest of full disclosure, my feelings about his death were quite strong in the days that followed because a) Lauren Bessette worked with my husband and b) I knew one of his flight instructors; the one who could not accompany him that trip as his girlfriend at the time was my cousin and a good friend to Carolyn. Carolyn was from Greenwich as well. I had never met any of the three who died.

That said, Richard Blow’s book, for which he caught much heat, examines only the years of George, the brilliant and sometime overlooked magazine founded by the young Kennedy in the late 1990s. What struck me most about Blow’s book was his assertion that JFK, Jr. was, in every sense, a misogynist filled with the very same hubris that killed many in his family, i.e., “The Kennedy Curse.” For example:

1) he blamed Sheila Rauch for wanting an annulment on his cousin Joe’s failed bid for reelection. Why not blame the husband? I myself have gotten an annulment and it’s no easy feat and it’s not for the faint of heart. You must really want the annulment and be able to prove to the Tribunal that the marriage is not viable.

2) he blames the victim for testifying in the trial against his cousin William Kennedy Smith, who was tried and aquitted of rape in Palm Beach. JFK Jr. is physically present (by choice?) in the courtroom during trial. Does that sway the jury? What many folks don’t realize is that Kennedy Smith was accused again of rape in 1999. Also, Kennedy Smith had help in the person of his uncle Ted Kennedy that night and everyone knew it. Who could possibly charge these people with a crime and win?

3) he practically blames the teenaged babysitter for “seducing” Michael Kennedy, whose marriage is ruined and then goes on to die in a skiing accident while playing football on skis. What about the daredevil problem in the family which would apply to both the (statutory rape)”affair” and the skiing backwards? Why not blame the late Michael Kennedy or karma?

For all we know, he blames Marilyn Monroe, Mary Jo Kopechne and Martha Moxley for various “infractions” against his family as blood is way thicker than water. What I’m trying to say is not that he was a terrible person, but like many whose star shone with amazing brightness, he had lost perspective and in his grief, reached out for the easy targets to blame rather than look at his flawed family with fresh eyes. From what we know, his mother was extraordinarily adept at raising children in the most abnormal of circumstances and, upon her death, he seemed like a rudderless ship, removed from the calm anti-celebrity of his older sister Caroline.

That said, his death was untimely and tragic and who knows where his career and public life would have taken him? I like to think of him as a “good Kennedy”. As we approach the anniversary of his death this week, I wanted to take some time to see what you all thought of this family and whether or not they bring tragedy upon themselves or if they are simply unlucky? They are, quite simply, like no other dynasty here in America and have done our country proud via public service. What of their private lives? Or is it simply not any of our business?

NB: JFK, Jr. was a Phi Kappa Psi. Hmmmmm…